Překladatelské perličky:
Moja milá Mary – My expensive Mary
hand-bag TV – kabelová televize
from-under-her laundry – spodní prádlo
pulling birds = tažní ptáci
Don’t wake up a swan – nebuď labuť
Relax in the living room – odpočívej v pokoji
Svíčková – candle sauce
What’s a teacher’s favourite nation?
a) expla-nation b) exami-nation c) halluci-nation d) …
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9 🙂
Hint: 7 8 9 = seven ate nine (ate = min. čas od slovesa eat, stejná výslovnost jako číslovka 8 = eight)
Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
Which are the stronger days of the week?
The rest are weekdays.
Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
Why did the computer go to the doctors?
It had a virus.
What did the math book tell the pencil?
I have a lot of problems.
Where can you find an ocean without water?
On a map!
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk!
Quicker please
The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb „to walk“ in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk …. The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run …
Practising foreign languages
Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says, “Mooo!” The second cow goes, “Baaaa!” The first cow says, “What was that?” The second cow says, “Oh, nothing. Just practising my foreign languages.”
ARE YOU SURE?
George Bernard Shaw once wrote that there were two words in English spelled with “s” but pronounced with “sh”. A lady wrote to him: “You must be wrong, sir. There is only one such word, namely sugar.” His reply contained only one question, “Are you sure, Madam?”
THE NAME
– Hello, are you there?
– Yes, who are you please?
– I’m Watt.
– What’s your name?
– Watt’s my name.
– Yes, what’s your name?
– My name is John Watt.
– John what?
– Yes, are you Jones?
– No I’m Knott.
– Will you tell me your name then?
– Will Knott.
– Why not?
– My name is Knott.
– Not what?
– Not Watt, Knott.
– What?
A na konec jeden z Ostravy napísaný pekně po slovensky 🙂
BANÍK Z OSTRAVY má ísť do Anglicka a ťažká si kamarátovi, že čo si tam počne, keď nevie ani slova po anglicky. Kamarát ho upokojuje: „Nic se neboj. Podívej: bu-deš mlu-vit hez-ky po-ma-lu a sro-zu-mi-tel-ně a všech-no bu-de v po-řád-ku.“ Baník tak urobil. V Anglicku v hoteli si sadol na recepcii na sedačku, otočil sa k tam sediacemu pánovi a povedal: „Do-brý den. Já su ha-víř z O-stra-vy a su ta-dy na do-vo-le-né.“ Ten pán sa naňho pozrel a odvetil: „Do-brý den. Já su ta-ky ha-víř z O-stra-vy. A proč te-dy, když jsme o-ba z O-stra-vy, mlu-ví-me an-glic-ky?“
