{"id":1887,"date":"2022-03-31T15:15:58","date_gmt":"2022-03-31T13:15:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.helloskola.cz\/zakladni-skola\/?page_id=1887"},"modified":"2022-03-31T15:15:59","modified_gmt":"2022-03-31T13:15:59","slug":"vtipy-v-anglictine","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.helloskola.cz\/zakladni-skola\/vtipy-v-anglictine\/","title":{"rendered":"Vtipy v angli\u010dtin\u011b"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Moja mil\u00e1 Mary – My expensive Mary<\/p>\n\n\n\n
hand-bag TV – kabelov\u00e1 televize<\/p>\n\n\n\n
from-under-her laundry – spodn\u00ed pr\u00e1dlo<\/p>\n\n\n\n
pulling birds = ta\u017en\u00ed pt\u00e1ci<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don’t wake up a swan – nebu\u010f labu\u0165<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Relax in the living room – odpo\u010d\u00edvej v pokoji<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sv\u00ed\u010dkov\u00e1 – candle sauce<\/p>\n\n\n\n
a) expla-nation b) exami-nation c) halluci-nation d) …<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Because 7 8 9 \ud83d\ude42<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Hint: 7 8 9 = seven ate nine (ate = min. \u010das od slovesa eat, stejn\u00e1 v\u00fdslovnost jako \u010d\u00edslovka 8 = eight)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The rest are weekdays.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It had a virus.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I have a lot of problems.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n On a map!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Because it\u2019s too far to walk!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb „to walk“ in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk …. The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run …<\/p>\n\n\n\n Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says, \u201cMooo!\u201d The second cow goes, \u201cBaaaa!\u201d The first cow says, \u201cWhat was that?\u201d The second cow says, \u201cOh, nothing. Just practising my foreign languages.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n George Bernard Shaw once wrote that there were two words in English spelled with \u201cs\u201d but pronounced with \u201csh\u201d. A lady wrote to him: \u201cYou must be wrong, sir. There is only one such word, namely sugar<\/strong>.\u201d His reply contained only one question, \u201cAre you sure<\/strong>, Madam?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Hello, are you there?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Yes, who are you please?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 I\u2019m Watt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 What\u2019s your name?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Watt\u2019s my name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Yes, what\u2019s your name?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 My name is John Watt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 John what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Yes, are you Jones?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 No I\u2019m Knott.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Will you tell me your name then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Will Knott.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Why not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 My name is Knott.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Not what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 Not Watt, Knott.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2013 What?<\/p>\n\n\n\n BAN\u00cdK Z OSTRAVY m\u00e1 \u00eds\u0165 do Anglicka a \u0165a\u017ek\u00e1 si kamar\u00e1tovi, \u017ee \u010do si tam po\u010dne, ke\u010f nevie ani slova po anglicky. Kamar\u00e1t ho upokojuje: \u201eNic se neboj. Pod\u00edvej: bu-de\u0161 mlu-vit hez-ky po-ma-lu a sro-zu-mi-tel-n\u011b a v\u0161ech-no bu-de v po-\u0159\u00e1d-ku.\u201c Ban\u00edk tak urobil. V Anglicku v hoteli si sadol na recepcii na seda\u010dku, oto\u010dil sa k tam sediacemu p\u00e1novi a povedal: \u201eDo-br\u00fd den. J\u00e1 su ha-v\u00ed\u0159 z O-stra-vy a su ta-dy na do-vo-le-n\u00e9.\u201c Ten p\u00e1n sa na\u0148ho pozrel a odvetil: \u201eDo-br\u00fd den. J\u00e1 su ta-ky ha-v\u00ed\u0159 z O-stra-vy. A pro\u010d te-dy, kdy\u017e jsme o-ba z O-stra-vy, mlu-v\u00ed-me an-glic-ky?\u201c<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" P\u0159ekladatelsk\u00e9 perli\u010dky: Moja mil\u00e1 Mary – My expensive Mary hand-bag TV – kabelov\u00e1 televize from-under-her laundry – spodn\u00ed pr\u00e1dlo pulling birds = ta\u017en\u00ed pt\u00e1ci Don’t wake up a swan – nebu\u010f labu\u0165 Relax in the living room – odpo\u010d\u00edvej v pokoji Sv\u00ed\u010dkov\u00e1 – candle sauce What’s a teacher’s favourite nation? a) expla-nation b) exami-nation c) halluci-nation d) … […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2575,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1887","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy is 6 afraid of 7?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Which runs faster, hot or cold?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Which are the stronger days of the week?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Which runs faster, hot or cold?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Why did the computer go to the doctors?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
What did the math book tell the pencil?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Where can you find an ocean without water?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Why do birds fly south in the winter?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Quicker please<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Practising foreign languages<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
ARE YOU SURE?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
THE NAME<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
A na konec jeden z Ostravy nap\u00edsan\u00fd pekn\u011b po slovensky \ud83d\ude42<\/h3>\n\n\n\n